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October 05 Talking about Autumn Treasures: Apples, Pumpkins, Mazes and More - MSN Travel ArticlesIf you love fall, then the next couple of months are for you. Farms are going strong with you-pick goodies, corn fields are putting the finishing touches on extravagant mazes, and flowers are resplendent in autumn-color glory.
By Beth J. Harpaz, AP
Pick-your-own orchards are expected to have a strong fall season, thanks to consumers staying closer to home for leisure activities and an increased interest in local food and lower prices. "Because of the whole staycation-daycation thing, a lot of our members are saying business has been good," said Kathy McKay, spokeswoman for the North American Farmers' Direct Marketing Association. "People are looking for things to do near home instead of getting on a plane." "We have not heard of any apple U-picks going out of business because of lack of business," agreed Todd Hultquist, spokesman for the U.S. Apple Association, who says the top three states for pick-your-own apples are Michigan, New York and Pennsylvania. John Slemmer, who lists U-pick farms on a Web site called http://www.PickYourOwn.org, estimates that there are about 10,000 such places altogether, including not just apple orchards but farms that grow all types of produce throughout the year. Slemmer says that for every farm that closes because the land was sold or the owner passed away, he's getting 10 new listings for farms inviting the public in. "It's growing no matter how you look at it," he said. "People are looking at cheaper sources of food, and without the middleman, you get a better price. With pick-your-own farms, you also remove the labor component. There are health issues, and there's also an entertainment and educational component. People who are so far removed from seeing farms in their daily lives say, 'I want to see where my food comes from.'" In addition to apple orchards, outings to pumpkin patches are popular in autumn too. Find a place near you at http://www.pumpkinpatchesandmore.org. Or head to Keene, N.H., for the annual Pumpkin Festival, Oct. 17, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. More than 20,000 carved jack-o-lanterns are put on display and lit for this event, which also includes a parade, seed-spitting and pie-eating contests, craft and food vendors, and a nighttime fireworks display. Keene has a population of just 23,000 but typically draws several times that many visitors to town for the event, with people coming from around the country and around the world. Details at http://www.pumpkinfestival.org/index.html. Another big draw for families: corn mazes. The Corn Maze Directory lists more than 600 mazes, with some in every state except Alaska and Hawaii at http://www.cornmazedir.com/. Some mazes are so long and complex that they have spotters or corn cops on platforms above the maze to direct lost visitors. The Liberty Corn Maze near Liberty, Mo., consists of five mazes — including two that are less than a mile and one that's nearly 4 miles long. For the dedicated maze walker, Liberty offers a total of 9.3 miles of corn rows to navigate; details at http://www.libertycornmaze.com/index.php. In Corryton, Tenn., the corn maze at Oakes Farm offers a scavenger hunt in which visitors look for 12 different posts hidden along 4.2 miles of trails; details at http://www.oakesfarm.com. Another way to enjoy the season's colors is by visiting your local botanical garden, where the reds and golds of autumn can be just as spectacular as the pinks and purples of spring. Several gardens around the country are embracing a tradition imported from Japan that elevates the ordinary chrysanthemum to an object worthy of adulation: Kiku matsuri, or chrysanthemum festivals. At Bellingrath Gardens in Theodore, Ala., near Mobile, cascading chrysanthemums are cultivated for months before being put on display in November, when they spill from balconies and bridges in stunning 4-foot-long swaths of brilliant reds and yellows. Bellingrath has been growing cascading mums since 1963, but this year its annual festival will include a special two-day program of Japanese culture. The festival takes place Nov. 1-22, with the Japanese-themed events scheduled for Nov. 6-7, including demonstrations and displays of bonsai, ikebana, origami, brush painting and other arts and traditions. "It's a really fun way to talk about mums and the culture of Japan," said Bellingrath spokeswoman Jessica Barrick. Details at http://www.bellingrath.org. Other gardens around the country hosting Japanese-themed mum fests include the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx, Oct. 17-Nov. 15 — http://www.nybg.org — and the Portland Japanese Garden in Oregon, Oct. 17-25, http://www.japanesegarden.com/events/chrysanthemum. Annual fall chrysanthemum shows are also scheduled for the Lauritzen Gardens, Omaha's Botanical Center in Nebraska, Oct. 2-Nov. 22, http://www.omahabotanicalgardens.org/, and the Botanic Garden of Smith College in Northampton, Mass., Nov. 7-22, http://www.smith.edu/garden/Conservatory/mum-show.html. March 27 More Company BloggingHey Folks, It has seriously been so long since I have been on my own blog. I am more often found on facebook and tribe these days, but I didn't forget about this space either. And I haven't been writing much blogs lately on either of those sites. I have loads to write/complain about, but I really have no time to complain and really no time for myself either. Right now I have been in the process of doing company blogging and trying to get the company site some hits and make it marketable. I update the website constantly, so now I just have to market my work. So I know there are folks from all around the world that view msn spaces and as you can see from my profile, I live in one of the most visited cities in the world which is New York City. So if you ever want information on New York City, check out the website I update at http://www.nycpocket.com We also have a blogging section too. I recently wrote about what I did over the Easter weekend. The image should be a hint of what I did, but to read it visit http://nycpocket.com/blog/?p=283 Please feel free to comment on my story. Thanks a million everyone. Much Love, FBS December 18 Blogging my company blogHey Everyone, Yes, yes.....I have disappeared and been to busy. But now I have a reason for posting an entry at last on my poor blog I have ignored for a while. I apologize to my friends out there. As far as how am I and what's up, Well, as always I am hanging in there. Working two jobs. Still doing my fire hobbies. That's about it. I'll write more about me later. Probably a 2007 review. But in the meantime...... I'm trying to get more traffic to our company blog. Oy, the things you do for work. But I have to say that my blog last week had over 200 people flocking to our company blog. I was shocked. And I felt proud that my blog really attracted people. That and my co-worker put the word out there and she was shocked that many poeople saw the blog. We were all floored. Anyways, here's the link to the blog I worte: http://nycpocket.wordpress.com/2007/12/14/nyc-all-decked-out-for-the-holidays/ Also, more tips of visiting NYC has been posted since then and might be helpful for those that want to know what's happening on my side of the world or if you plan on visiting. Just visit http://www.nycpocket.com/blog Thanks for taking the time out to visit the blog. Will write more soon. Happy Holidays! FBS July 18 The Sorting HatHey Everyone How's it going? As for me I have been very busy. And I have loads to write about and more pictures to upload which should keep people interested and on thier toes for my next entry in the saga of my life. But since I am a bit pre-occupied lately, I will just put something up for the time being. So in light of the fact that the new and final Harry Potter book will be released and the new Harry Potter movie is out, I thought I'd join the Potter Mania and take a quiz on which house I'd belong in if I was in the wizarding world. As long as it's not hufflepuff or slytherin, I'm happy. Anyways, take the quiz and see where you belong in the wizarding world. Let me know your thoughts and opinions and if you think this suits me. *LOL* Take care! Ciao! Much Love, FBS
Known Ravenclaws: Rowena Ravenclaw, Luna Lovegood, Cho Chang, Professor Flitwick, Roger Davies. April 02 I'm Alive! Hello,I can't believe I have not written in this blog forever.
 It's really been a while. But just to let you know things have been busy and somewhat calm until now. So let me break it down: Work: I am currently working two jobs now. My day job is Publishing. My night job is a Theater. Things are always hectic and hellish at the publication company. But something bad happened on Friday that's now making me write my resignation letter. I can't deal with this anymore. And I now realize I don't want to be a part of this anymore. So I am hoping to make Theater/ Entertainment field my line of work from now on. I really like being a part of a theater company so I really need to focus on that. Wish me luck. Hobbies: Well, I have been conducting the poi workshops here in NYC. Problem with NYC is that we're all so busy these days, it's insane. In the beginning, people were coming together and it was more of a regular thing. But now with the 2nd job, that kind of diminished. It's already bad enough that there's no real poi community in NYC. Everywhere else, yes, but here there's nothing and no one wants to be a part of a community either. Aside from poi, I have also been taking hooping classes and I really enjoy it so much. So that might be my next thing to set on fire. And I have been taking Tango (Argentine style) classes too. I feel like such a lady in this class. I looooove it. Love Life: I actually really don't have much time for one these days. Don't get me wrong, that would be nice. Sometimes I feel like I really need someone. The guy I still have a crush on, this shit has really gone on long enough. There is something there. I feel it. I have faith in it. I believe in it. And even a guy friend of mine who witnessed it also said there's an intrest there. There's something there. But why won't it take off? That's a question that is driving me up the friggin wall. After a road block for quite some time, I saw him again and the green signals were lit once again. I persued it only to have a road block again. And I'm pretty much fed up with this too, just like my job. I want another crush already. The Future: Besides the obvious of leaving my job and needing a new love intrest, I am also looking to take a bit of time off for myself before a new job and just travel for a month. I am thinking of going overseas provided that there's enough money saved. As to where, anywhere sounds good to me as long as I leave this place for a little bit. I need to dissappear for a while. I really need to clear my mind and hope that things get better. I've been through worse, but the whole clean-up process in itself can sometimes be messy, but I know it's going to be promising.That's pretty much all that I have to report for now. I think that's the shortest I can sum up my life so far. I hope all is well for everyone else and I will report some more soon. Take it easy. Ciao!
FBSJanuary 19 2007, so far.......eh
Yes, yes....it's been a while since I have written in this on-line documentary of my life. Been busy with deadlines at work and doing stuff in my personal life. But I must say, this year so far has been really blah for me. First I get ditched on New Years Eve and ended up not doing anything that whole night. I was alone and furious. Well, I was at my godmother's house really, but still, I was very furious. My friend that ditched me, I didn't talk to her this whole month until yesterday, telling her how upset I was, etc. So she felt really bad. Then things at work was going chaotic all over again. Put it to you this way, I almost got fired. And then I found out a friend of mine is in a coma in SF. She still has not woken up yet. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful I am not in a hospital bed, but at the same time feel so sad and sorry for her family. And then this was all in one week. The following week, I recieved a really rude e-mail from another friend (not really a friend) whom I had to put in his place. So now he's quiet. It was bad enough I was bitter about the holidays over the holidays and then with the extra added BS, that was making me sick. On some positive notes, I have been continuing with my tango lessons and I am loving the classes and the people. I do have some set goals for this year that I am trying very hard to work on. I am hoping that it works out. I have also took an initiative in the fire spinning community and decided to start up indoor non-fire sessions for the winter until the nice weather comes back. So far the two times I have done it, it has been a success and getting more and more inquiries about it. Although, we'll see how long that lasts since people tend to be flaky and yet busy like every other New Yorker. Anyways, I think that about sums it up for the time being. So I will lastly leave you with a belated holiday poem I wrote last month and will attach a pic of me. An actual pic! *L* Take care everyone and stay warm and cool. Ciao!
The Essence of Pine -------------------------- Mmmm, that aromatic smell that's so sweet and fine. Can it be that wonderful scent of Holiday pine? It is! That scent of pine trees I come across on a crowded sidewalk. It's the scent that actually gives me peace after all the people I had faught. Like a magnet, my nose glues itself to the sweet prickly needles of pine. Attached like an insect in it's sap, I want this tree; but I know it's too big to be mine. The scent created a vision of me in a long green gown and a ruby red cloak caressing pine trees from the smallest to the tallest. And how that scent of pine beckoned me to walk in the cold grey day, truding through the snow-capped evergreen pine forest. And now thinking about it, that wonderful scent of pine, that feeling would be so relaxing and good. Not a branch, not a wreath, but a tree just like the many trees that brings this lovely scent to a dingy neighborhood. Could this be what I need? An aromatic tree, beautifully decorated to brighten my room. Maybe...just maybe a little tree might help, for the whole holiday season I've felt nothing but gloom. The scent of pine seems to take me away from that and I truly think I will buy myself a cute little tree today. Funny, how something simple like the scent of a pine tree is the only thing I like about this dismal holiday. FB 12/20/06 November 27 Emotional Waves Howdy!!!I have been so super busy these days. I have been busy with events and with work mainly. Both have really taken up my time so much. So I'll leave off from the last blog post. I don't know if I wrote this part in my last blog, but I'll re-write it again. After that whole thing with the laundry and someone folding my clothes, for some reason we now have no more laundry room. Seriously, there was a fire down there and now the washers are working but not the dryers. Kind of weird how that happened, but c'est la vie.
After that weekend of laundry I managed to go visit my friends in Boston the following weekend. I just felt like going up there for the weekend and just hanging and de-stressing. It was great to see people I haven't seen in a month. Everything felt so fresh and new. I was a bit frustrated with the transportation system there, but in the end, I did some shopping and ate until I met up with my friends. After that we went to a party out in RI. Never been there before. So that was a bit interesting. I think the best bit was how we all tried to do our usual fire thing and we got busted by the cops twice. The first group was literally 5 or 6 police cars for us and this one humorous officer was looking at us and said, "y'all the weirdest bunch I have ever seen!" Oh, that was great. Then again, he was talking to a guy that was wearing a pink sequins hat and a pink boa wrapped around his leg. Enough said on the weirdness crowd. So after that dampened our spirits a bit, we just played with fire right outside the house party, in the streets, stopping traffic. And that was a good thing cause people were videotaping us and taking pictures and people were coming out of their houses to watch us. One lady across the street is new, lived there a few months and it turns out she is from the neighborhood I currently live in. Small world! Even the fire fighters down the street were watching us. It was hilarious. I thought they were coming after us. But after that, the police showed up again. One car this time and it was a car from the first bust. *L* Oh well. At least we got that out of the system. We just hung out until the next day. And so we all went back to Boston and had breakfast. After that, I parted with my friends and I spent my afternoon in Salem, MA. Going through the Haunted Happenings of Salem and all the halloween glory. Then I went back home to NYC.
The weekend after that was the Philedelphia Decompression Halloween party. I was kind of going into a bad mood when this party was coming around. I was sad that I wasn't able to perform fire at this party. I found out a few days before and had been debating about why would I go to this party if all I am doing is performing. I thought I would just go for the sake of it. But I was super depressed about not performing. It was one things that they had enough people. ok, fine. But the organizer kept going on about how she needed people with experience and a certain amount of performance level, etc. So basically I saw in my eyes that I didn't have enough talent to be a part of them. She should have just left it at, we're full. I might have understood a bit more and not been sad. I was really told that I didn't have the qualifications to perform and that hurted. I really felt gyped. The people she had up there performing didn't have more than 2 yrs experience like she told me she wanted. So naturally I felt upset and just felt like an outcast. Jung was the only one that knew how I felt. I didn't want to tell anyone else in the community feeling that I might cause an upset so I hid my feelings. And I basicaly hid myself from the party the whole night. Kept myself in the corner by the heaters. It was soooo cold at the place. Just before the party had started, Jung had told me that he told the organizers that I was upset over this. "Why?!!?" I thought. I started to cry. But at the same time, I just didn't give a shit too. At least I got complimented on my costume. But as down as I was feeling, it got worse. Some girl who was drunk not only stepped on my foot with her spike heel, she knocked me down too. And I fell literally on top of my ankle and almost into the propane heater. I was screaming and crying in pain for about 10 minutes. It was bad. This girl, Donna had saved me from falling into that heater and she got ice for me and got someone to examine my foot. It was fortunate that I didn't break it, but it was cut up, bruised and swollen in two different places. So I couldn't dance anymore for the rest of the night. That was awful. So as the night ended and I was saying my good-byes, people saw me with a red face from crying and I still basically said nothing to folks. I was that angry. I was truly ready to hurt someone.
After that came the Halloween parade. Just days after my swollen foot, I managed to skate in the parade. But I can still feel the pain of my foot towards the end and I was very afraid that I would agitate my foot more. It was a painful skate but at least again, people loved my costume. And I recycled my costume this year too. Nothing new or really that extraordinary. Also, during that week I had a breif performance for my friend's teen witch's ball. That was not a great venue. My friend used green fire for his trick. I danced with my fire and I felt that I did very well with that performance. But it kind of went unrecognized due to no one really showing up on a rainy night. So it was a bit of a wash out. After the parade and gig was the NYC decompression party. A post halloween party. This party I was able to perform my fire and I think this time it was a bit better as far as atmopshere for me. I did see Donna again and thanked her for all the help she gave me at the Philly party. She really did save me. Anyways, as far as my performance, it really wasn't much. The original plan was scrapped due to fire marshalls shutting us down. So we had to perform in this narrow alleyway. So I only performed twice and not that great due to the limited amount of space. Aside from that I just danced and had some fun. And yet, I kept getting followed by this dude whom annoyed me and my other friends as well. That was not good. And again it was soooo cold that night. The only uncomfortable moment was that the organizer I was upset with, was talking to me about why I was upset. Again, I didn't really express 100% everything that was on my mind, but I had a feeling she wasn't going to listen. I even tried to offer a suggestion and I didn't even get to finish a sentance. So as she defended herself, I just remained silent and thought, "what's the point!?" But after partying until day break, I just went home and slept in all next day.
Shortly after all that excitement of traveling, parties, socializing, performing......my job as usual drove me nuts. Deadlines came up. I was already done with my work and what I had to do, but I was helping out everyone else. And then my boss decided to use an inexperienced graphic designer for the job and he has been messing up. Everything has been going wrong. It's been a nightmare. First, he doesn't work from home after having the materials for two weeks. So that puts us into super crunch time. The guy already has two full time jobs and then doing work for my boss. What made my boss think that he can use this guy for our guide which requires a lot of work? I never understood that. So everyday has been a mess for two weeks. We have all even worked weekends to get this done. And on top of all this, I have been sick with just a common cold that won't really go away. My stress is feeding the cold. So I've been sick and working overtime too. I lost my voice and everything. My co-worker, he too went from being sick to his dog in the hospital and other horrible personal stuff. His life been a busy mess too. So we're all aggravated with this inexpereinced guy. I've been patient, but my manager and my boss have completely lost it. And then the guy who saved everything, all our work on an ipod completely died and we lost everything. So now things have to be re-done. I have designed a cover, 2 ads, did a few editorials on top of what I normally do, it's been madness. And then we have a website to launch and we can't pay attention to the website stuff and the guide all at once. So I know my boss has been upset with that. He hasn't even said happy holidays to us.
So now I am away on this holiday, visiting my aunt in Phoenix, Arizona. The weather is warm and the scene is nice. But still, I feel emotional. I am worried about my job. That's the priority. And now I will be out 2 extra days, I just hope I don't get into trouble. I just found out that the nightmare continued over the holidays and people had to work on friday. I still have a slight cold. I still feel like an outcast with friends. I feel like I have been hurt and misunderstood and betrayed and unappreciated and ignored for a while. I am also trying to find new things to do for me and even that I feel like people are discouraging me. why? I don't know. But I am getting that impression. I'm a fighter, I'm ignoring them of course but it's just sad that I am feeling this from people so close to me. And maybe they're not that close afterall. Even over the holidays, I got a text msg from someone and I'm like is that for me or someone else? where have you been? I fantasize sort of being mad at this person as suppossed to anything good. I think I really need to scream at people. Even though it will hurt me more than them, I think I need to be mean. Which is why I will be a scrooge this Christmas. I'm not really doing gifts or sending cards. I did that last year and out of 30 cards I sent, I only got 4. And no one ever gave me anything for my birthday this year. Not even an acknowledgement. So I am basically saying, "fuck you" this holiday season to nearly everyone. So, to those reading this, now can you understand my wave of emotions? Keeping my humor and goodness and yet, I am so angry at the whole world. Then again, can you blame me? What do you think?
Take care to all that read and for the Americans, Happy belated Thanksgiving. Ciao for now!
FBS October 16 The Chills Hey Everyone,I am back and with a few more tales to tell. I guess this month of October has been somewhat busy and yet, been kind of going through some emotional stuff lately. As the seasons gets colder, so does my mood. So the time of getting down is starting to hit me again. You thought that my time in writing on the msn blogs have been a bit lacking these days, that's not as bad as my personal journal. My journal is more than 2 months behind as far as writing. I don't know how am I ever going to catch up to that. Anyways, not too much is going on. A few friends birthdays just past. But neither of them did much. The first weekend of October I went skating and I still am not talking to my friend, Michelle. But I am talking to everyone else. So I don't feel too bad at the skating area. However, I did decide to be daring that day and light up my poi's on fire in the middle of Central Park. but that only lasted like 2 minutes before I saw the cop cars approach me and I just knew I had to put them out. *pouts* I kind of felt bad because I think I broke up the skating party because of that too. I mean it's not like anyone came up to me and said, how dare you!!! People came up to me saying, "That was awesome!!!" But I still felt weird somehow. After that, I pretty much left the park and hung out with my friend Danielle.
After that I had been just prepping up and packing for the final camping trip of the season. Just two weeks ago, I was at a beautiful place in CT and spinning fire. And now this final trip coming up which is a little bit bigger. Unfortunately, for both of those trips, the weather wasn't really cooperating with me. The journey in CT was so much better. It poured heavy rain one day and it was hot for the remainder of the trip. The last camping trip in Delaware, I missed the heavy rain but it was soooo cold. And so windy. Plus, I sensed some sadness in the air. Aside from that I had fun seeing some of my friends again. It felt like a year had went by for some odd reason. And at least people liked my fire spinning. At least this time, there is a video of my fire spinning. So here is a glimpse of my camping trip/ fire spinning. Visit this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Wk4KGGpyMY Hopefully you guys will like it.
After this trip, things calmed down at work. I was super busy before my trip and now, it's calm and it's kind of nice. I was suppossed to go to Salem the weekend that had passed and I am bummed that I didn't go because of various reasons that really made it difficult to go up there. And even plans to do things in NYC was cancelled. So I did absolutely nothing but clean my room, do laundry and sleep. And speaking of laundry, I had a creepy experience. This is still on my mind since yesterday. I don’t know why I can’t just drop it, but I do feel like I am being watched or something. Yesterday, I went on my usual routine of doing my laundry in my building. It wasn’t crowded; in fact it was empty which was such a great feeling to have the room to myself. Clothes go in washer, nothing unusual. Clothes go in dryer, nothing unusual. I go to pick up clothes, and in the deserted room of all empty washers and dryers, I find my clothes on a table. What was even weirder was that it was in my bag all neatly folded. I mean shirts, sweaters, bras and panties all neatly folded. Nothing was stolen. I hope. And I know clothes don't fold themselves. What’s got my mind is, who the hell was going through my underwear? This is my personal stuff and someone, I’m sure it’s a guy went through my underwear. I can’t help to feel somewhat invaded. And this is really kind of creeping me out.
I know I should forget it and I will. But as of now since it’s on my mind and what I am asking is, am I overlooking the fact that some stranger did something nice for me? Especially since I am used to doing everything by myself. Or would anyone else react the same way that I am… thinking about how some creep ran his fingers through my underwear, probably sniffing them like it’s heroin. Ok, a little overreaction there but my mind is boggled by this. So, opinions please. I want to hear your thoughts. So definitely write me back on this. Other things that happened today was that my co-worker just up and quit. So now this is really going to be hell for us at work. Yikes! Another event, my mom moved to Switzerland today. Yup, she's gone. I'll be fine, but she left no ways of me contacting her. Very weird. And then she gets married in a few weeks, and I won't be able to attend the wedding. Notice too soon. Plane fare is too costly. I'll just have to visit her another time. But she drove me nuts this weekend about getting a document notarized. Goodness, she told me too late and when there was no notary open too. It was terrible timing. There was a few things that have pissed me off last week. My trip being cancelled, not being able to find my costume (I found it 3 days later), the creepy laundry experience, my mom, not being able to talk to this guy I like, not being able to reach a few other friends, details lacking in upcoming events............it's been chaotic. Anyways, I just hope some things can finally get cleared up and I can just move on with some sort of ease. Anyways, that's it for the time being. I will try to write some more soon. Take it easy and feel free to write me some comments. I love feedback. Makes me feel like people are paying attention. Have a good one. Ciao! FBSSeptember 26 What kind of soul am I? Hey there,I think anyone that knows me well could have told me what kind of a soul I was without taking that on-line survey. *L* Anyways, I'm proud of myself regardless of whether an online test was true or not. Also, I have had the revelation of being known as the wolf on the native totem pole. Yes, that sounds scary. But wolves are often very loyal and lovable creatures. The reason why the wolf came into play is because when I am stress or angry, I forsee myself as a female Native American warrior with war paint all over my face and tomahawks in my hands. Someone had once told me to look up the term "dog soldier". he had told me that in one tribe, women were the warriors for the men of the tribe and often used dogs as their weapon. The dogs were like prarie dogs or alaskan husky type dogs (huskys are my favorite breed). I thought that interesting enough I had envisioned that without ever knowing the term "dog soldier" ever in my life. Anyways, when I am calm I am still the firebird that flies free in my sleep with an aura of flames dancing around me. I am still a magical creature. Well, that's it from this end. But here is the results of that online quiz I took a while back. Enjoy!!!
 FBS
You Are a Visionary Soul
You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul To find out what kind of soul you arem please visit http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsoulareyouquiz/ August 26 Summer's Almost Gone Hello Everyone,I know, I know. Where have I been? Seriosuly, next weekend is the labor day weekend and it's practically winter for all of us already. I'm so sad. I have been so super busy these days. Some of the days was enjoying my summer. Others has been just down right stressful moments. So as of right now I am coping. But let me back track to what's been going on this whole season.
Firstly, After the whole Playa Del Fuego weekend, my work days went into summer hours. Usually full days mon- thurs and then I get out by 1pm on fridays which has been great. I really did enjoy that feature at work. I missed out on the freedom skate Philedelphia in June. That event just creeped up on me and so I forgot about it. Oh well. But I did get to go to a Native American Powwow in Brooklyn. I also did manage to celebrate my birthday nicely by going to Six Flags Great Adventure in NJ. I went on the tallest (45 stories) and fastest (128mph) roller coaster in the world. So they say. I'm sure we'll have a ride that will beat this ride called Kingda Ka. I can't believe I got dropped 45 stories. That's half the Empire State Building. What a rush!!! I also went on many more great ride but I didn't get to go on all of them due to time. So I was a bit dissappointed that time went by too fast, but I had so much fun nonetheless. And I couldn't ask for better company too on that day. The weird thing was after the theme park, this cashier dude at burger king freaked the freak out of us by suggesting he was into us and all kinds of things and wanted to know where are we going after this? *twilight zone music with black and white swirls floating* It was freaky. Neither of us are that way and we had no intrest in this porky cashier dude whom was only 18 yrs old and kept saying he gets off in a half an hour. I don't wanna see him get off at all. And then he waved to us as we drove away. *shutters* So creepy.
 After the Great Adventure trip, another adventure I had was getting a ticket for not paying to get on the subway. I actually went to appeal against the ticket, but nope. No sympathy there. I was out $60. My 4th of July pretty much sucked. I didn't even see the Macy's fireworks. On top of that, I heard it was not at all good this year. I did manage to do some more fire spinning and I have been keeping up at it more often. I did perform at a fairy festival with two of my friends. My performance there was eh. I also did a fire performance upstate NY, at some gorgeous $2M colonial white house with a forest for a backyard. That house was beautiful. I wanna go back. But my performance there was so much better and I improved with a few new moves. I definitely had a breakthrough as far as fire performance there. I haven't really lit up since that last weekend of July. But I have been practicing the non-fire moves for a while.
I haven't really gone to the beach at all this summer, but I did get quite a tan from just sun bathing at certain spots. Aside from the weekends where I have gone camping or did performance, I've just been skating with my usual suspects. My best friend got married last weekend so I am happy for her. I went to some party and hung out with friends that did fire spinning at washington square park two weeks ago. My only sad thing is that I just couldn't make it to burningman. That's the only real major event I feel like I am missing out on. *sniffles & pouts* I also sometimes, well, a lot of the times feeling left out in the fire arts community too. Like I get the impression that I don't have enough talent to hang with these people. I don't know. Maybe I am nuts. As far as everything else in life, it's ok. My home is fine. Family is fine. Some of my friends are fine. But my job is killing me. I really had a bad episode with them where they claim I am a scary person and they want to fire me. For what? For doing everything that was ever asked of me and yet, it's never going to be enough for them. I just can't be at a place where I am unappreciated. So now I am in the intense progress of looking for a new job and better company. No more BS company and pay. I can't live like that anymore. My life cost is going up, rent is going up, I need to eat too. So I can't be there anymore. And I know they're not going to offer me anything more than what they are giving me now. So it's really time to leave. Besides, why be at a place that literally tell me, I don't care about your feelings or opinions. I don't count. Why be there? And plus, I have a friend of mine, a good friend I've known for about 9 yrs threaten me because she thinks I am trying to steal her dude. All I did was teach him 5 minutes worth of poi. You think you know people and someone just turns around and says I'll make sure I'll hurt and embarass you. And she won't even tell me what exactly did I do. I called her back apologizing, asking her what I did and told her never leave me a threat again. But she never called me back. A guy friend of mine that was there was outraged. He said to me that I didn't do anything and that my friend must be really insecure. So I don't know what to make of my friendship with her anymore. Don't know if I want to make friends with her again. At least not for a while. But I am heartbroken over that and just flat out stressed from my job. But I am doing the best I can to get out of this funk I am in. I just hope my prayers get answered soon. Anyways, that's it from me. I hope everyone else's summer has been well and hope things will continue to be well for all my friends. Stay cool and in touch. Laters!!!!
 FBS June 04 How time flies
Wow! I can't believe I haven't written in over a month. Have I been that busy? I guess so. I thought I would be a bit more persistent in writing but I really haven't had the time. Been going nuts since my whole dental experience which is still to be continued. I still have to get my wisdoms out. Even more amazing on how the mind can really tolerate other people's BS and make your back bend a lot more than what it's used to. I look back at some things and I truly can't believe I have tolerated the amount of BS that has come my way. Even in some of my freinds, they too have went above and beyond and get nothing. Here are some few examples that have happened within the past month or so that has me saying, enough is enough. First of all, my work. Sure everyone has a somewhat shitty experience with work. Who doesn't? But what I was feeling were conspiracies to get me out of the company. It was as if everything I did, someone had to argue that with me. First of all, I was doing things that were not my job description. I am a production assistant/ receptionist. Not a messenger. And they were treating me like one and having me do things in that manner. That ticked me off. And I said to them, "Look one thing at a time. You either have me do this or this. Which is it? I can't do everything!" And the only response I got was do things in a timely manner. So I had to put up with that. I had to put up with not being invited to a co-worker's cinco de mayo party. Whether I would have gone or not is irrelevant. What was relevant was the invitation, the courtesy which none was given to me. Two co-workers of mine were also ignoring me as well. The behavior towards me was very weird indeed. And I put in all these hours and not get paid any overtime at all. This is BS. So basically I am now taking the time out to stop and look for a more respectable job. Even though there's never any true respect in a working environment to begin with. My living conditions were getting weird for a bit because of the land lady's husband. He goes from screaming at me for inviting my boyfriend over for a movie to telling me how much he likes me and offering me a ride to work to finding a reason to yell at me for taking up time in the bathroom. He was looking to pick a fight with me but that has stopped for now. But I am not forgetting that. Another thing is that I had broken up with my boyfriend about 2 months ago. I felt like a failure. I had been very depressed. I still get sad about it sometimes and that feeling of failing creeps back in. But now that I look back on things and analyze things a bit better. I tolerated a lot more than I expected too. And really I thought I was being nice or doing someone a favor. And all I got out of that was my feelings being hurt. I had basically been told I was a disease to him, how he didn't want to see me because he wants a new image and then picking a fight with me while I was ill. And of course being non-supportive during my most time of need. Being this ill and dating a dude like that was a first for me. Also a first for me was getting over him quickly. Within a month I was with someone else. And that was good for a quick minute only for him to get mad at me because I didn't want to sleep with him. "Have a nice life", he tells me. "C'est la vie!" I thought. Maybe better off anyways. I should report his sorry ass to immigration since he is "illegal" in this country. Nah! Karma will get him. Fucker! Thank god my memorial weekend was decent. I put up with a lot. Didn't I? All in all, things are ok for the time being. Been playing psychiatrist to my friend whom is getting married and has been having some strange mis-fortunes. First with bridesmaid to the in-laws to the bridesmaid again. And this time this bridesmaid girl had the nerve to buy a white gown and say that's what she going to wear for a bridesmaid dress. It was very inappropriate. Crazyness! Anyways, I think I have now caught up to everything that has been happening so far in the shortest amount of words I can think of. There are so many details I can talk about but in all honesty, I am too tired, lazy and loosing memory for things these days. And I still have a lot of things coming up. I just can't believe how much time flew in keeping up with my blog. I am not promising but I hope to keep up with my story telling better than this. In the meantime, take care and if it's not raining where you are at, enjoy the weather and the summer. Ciao!
FBS April 02 The Funny & Painful MomentsHey Folks,
You will not believe this. A firend of mine got mugged and shot in the leg in the elevator of where he lived. He called me immiediately after it happened. He was in the hospital and he was going into details of the confrontation and what the guy looked like and what kind of gun he had and what was in his wallet and APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!! Technically it's April 2nd now but I had to throw in something funky. Besides, my friend did call to tell me that story and then shouted April Fools. I wanted to kick him but I was glad it was a flase story and that he was ok. It was also my Godmother's Birthday today on this fine Fool's day. Happy Birthday Tia! Thank goodness the weather is finally been nicer. So that means I have to polish up my roller blades and start spinning fire more often.
 I can't wait. So here's the update on me since my last entry.Last week I was hanging out with a friend of mine. We went to see an off-broadway show. I had free tickets for this show from my job. We were hanging out until about 3am that night and then we both got on the train to go home. As we are sitting there, talking, a homless lady makes the usual 'please give me money' speech. So this one dude gives his last spare change to her. The lady looked at the change and went up to the guy and literally said, "Here, you can take this back. That's too cheap for me." The homeless lady walked away and I couldn't help it, I started to laugh. I had never seen anything like it. And this guy was standing there, with his hand out, puzzled and in shock. He was saying, "I thought I was being nice." My friend and I just couldn't believe it. That had to have been one of the funniest moments. But of course there's more. After my friend and those other dudes got off the train, another guy comes on. And he decides to play the saxaphone for money. And to his everlasting credit, his talents where just playing the same two notes over and over and over and over again. Everyone was like, make him stop. So when he was finally done after 5 min of pain, he asked for money and told people to not be cheap about the donations. And then he leaves the train with this quote, "My spaceship is waiting for me. George Bush is there too so we can have a free-er country." I was thinking for him to just shut up. Seriously, you know NYC is getting expensive when beggars demand dollar bills only. And at that point, I'll keep the bills to myself so that I can survive in this city, thank you very much. I know it sounds greedy, but got to watch out for me. With these lil bit of funny thoughts to think on, comes alone some painful ones too. I had been fighting yet another cold, but this one turned into an infection. My wisdom tooth started to shift, therefore, causing my face to get very swollen to the point that I looked like a battered wife victim. It was that noticeable. And it happened in less than 48 hrs. It was quick. And so I went to a dentist quickly too. The first dentist, I couldn't even open my mouth wide enough for him to examine me. He could tell it's the wisdom tooth. But he couldn't even see it. And I can't even put a fork or spoon in my mouth either. I was slurping tea and soup like an 80 yrs old. All I needed was a walker and a hot pink sweatshirt. *L* My aunt, who is a medical doctor in AZ called in my local pharmacy and prescribed some anti-biotics. I had to argue with pharmacist because they almost messed that up too and claimed my aunt never called. When I proved them wrong, oy, they hated me. I must of had the word "bitch" slammed on me and up on their cubicle somewhere just for proving them wrong. I don't even take pills for a headache let alone anti-biotics. So this was a first for me which made me nervous. By the time I went to second dentist two days later I can open my mouth more, but it was still painful. I was crying when they had to do my xrays. Oy! They had to numb me and everything. At least they see that the wisdom tooth didn't infect any other tooth. So it's just that one that has to come out. But still, I can only open my mouth an inch, barely enough for a spoon or a fork. I was still swollen but I know more or less now that it's that confirmed wisdom that has to come out. I have yet to schedule operation which will be within this coming week or the next. So I will have another week of a swollen face to look forward to. That sucks. Aside from that, not too much going on. Prepping up for company party this week and if I can get away with it, I will be spinning my lights in a fancy dress. :-) And I will have to see how much longer I will have to kick my b/f's ass before I call that quits. That's another drama that's long. *sighs* Anyways, I just need to have some fun for a minute before more surgery and emotional pain comes back. Hope all is well with you folks out there. Stay cool and in touch. Laters!  FBS March 13 PatchesHey there,
Yup, just like the title says, "Patches" is about things that have been bothering me but are now getting patched up. There has been some drama but it's nice to see that it is starting to clear up as far as my mood. For a week I have been in such a horrible rotten mood with a lot of confusion and things started to get pacthed up yesterday. Some work still needs to be done but for the most part a lot of the patch work has been done.
My whole transitional mood started with a dream. Sometimes dreams can really depict things that are going on in your life and sometimes dreams plays off an exaggeration of things that have been bothering you for a while. Anyways, the dream starts off like this: I was hanging out with the usual skating crowd I hang out with in Central Park. For those reading and live elsewhere, that's in NYC. We were on a skating voyage through the streets of Manhattan. Then we reached a bridge which has a path, but someone suggested that we go another way. He pointed it out and it turns out it was a long cable that runs alongside the bridge. At least I thought it was a really huge cable wire, but then the guy revealed that it was a tunnel. It looked creepy and unsafe and I really didn't want to go into that tunnel. But the guy was very insitent of his idea of going into the tunnel. And so he sent me to go in first. So I went in first, had a flash light and he followed me and people followed after him. We were all going through this thing and I realized something about this tunnel. It was made of fabric. It was weak. And I could feel it going down with our weight. The skates made us heavier. I saw a patch and pulled it open. We were one the water and I can hear people screaming. I pulled the patch over the opening and saw water behind me, pouring in on top of everyone. We all yelled, "Pull Back! Pull Back!" I'm afraid of water and can't swim and I was so petrified, but I had to go through the water to get out of this death trap. It was really freaky. I came out of the tunnel, drenched from head to toe, ready to cry and realized everyone was staring at me. And then they were all cursing me out. Screaming at me, throwing things at me, blaming me for that drama. I yelled at them saying, "It's not my fault. I didn't make you go down there. It was HIS idea!" Everyone either walked away or skated off in anger. Even the guy who suggested it acted like he never said anything and insisted that it was all me. He too walked off and there I was, alone in a stranger park I didn't recognize.
 I woke up feeling quite pitiful about the dream. It was so surreal. I really felt like I was abandoned like I had done something wrong, but how can that be? I've never taken leadership in the skating group and I never will now after that dream. The whole day I stood home, getting ready to meet up with my friend Tommy, who was one of the skaters. I really wanted to tell him about the dream. I think he might be interested. So I waited around for Tommy and I never heard from him that night. No calls as to why he couldn't hang out, nothing. He's my friend he could have at least called and told me something was up. You know, a courtesy call. The whole day was such a waste and I got very upset. I felt like the way I did in my dream. So weird. It was like I did something and he walked off. That really set my mood for the next upcoming days.
The next day I hung out with a few friends and that was fine. Then I went to visit my b/f. I had not seen him in 2 weeks and our relationship hit a bit of a rough patch. And we are in the midst of patching eachother up but even that's not going smoothly. After my visit at my b/f's job, I definitely felt the distance. I understand that he really can't talk to me a lot because of his boss. But I really felt blown off and dismissed when he just 'saluted' me good-bye. I'm his g/f, he should kiss me good-bye not 'salut' me good-bye. I literally gave him a dirty look and said, "What the hell is that?" So then he hugged me and I took off to see my godmother.
 The sour weekend really set a bad mood for me for the work week. I felt very angry on monday. My mind was running away with me filled with horrible thoughts and visions. Here's an example of how wild my imagination was going: I imagined I was with my friend, her fiancee and my b/f. We were all meeting her neighbor and his friends whom are elite and all went to Harvard. My friend had mentioned to me before that she wouldn't want to meet those people based on her experience of meeting folks from an ivy league school. Anyways, I somehow envisioned all of us meeting those people and I ended up being everyone's pinata (pin-ya-tah). I felt like the town fool. Everyone else can relate to eachother, they had music in common and I was just put into a corner. Everyone ignored me including my friend and my b/f. I felt so useless and so I abruptly left the gathering. So mad. So hurt. So excluded. Someone came after me, but I dissappeared. Forever! In thinking those thoughts, I just felt my blood boil. I felt unappreciated. I started thinking, I shouldn't have given my b/f that v-day gift. I'm never going to get anything sentimental in return. I thought about how I give too much and I'm treated as a doormat in return. I started to get mad at myself. My conscience is too giving. I really need to learn to be harsher on people just so I can earn a bit of respect. Made me also remember how I felt in November. Felt like I didn't know who my friends are and how I've been neglected. A fire spinner and friend gave me the boot camp on life, kick my ass kind of chit-chat. I didn't agree with everything he said, but it did help a little bit. But I also told him that I have a tendacy to get like this from time to time. I had so much s**t running around my head I didn't want to talk to anyone that entire evening. I truly wanted to be alone.
 The mood of yestersday still lingered on into the next day. As I did my walking excercise, and again my mind going wild, but my imagination depicted a different scenario came into mind. I was at a barnes & nobles with friends and again I was excluded again and to my everlasting boiling point credit, I just walked away. I can't even remember what made me walk out. I truly don't know why I think thoughts like that but it can really hit me like the way a baseball bat smacks a baseball out of the stadium. It goes too far! Althought my thoughts was not as intense as before I still felt like s**t.
Another thing that can truly piss me off sometimes is people. People are so rude and nasty and because things aren't so great with the economy, everyone has worries. So the attitudes and tensions rises in people. I was coming out of the subway and going up the staris when I realized there was a person that was too close to me. How did I realize this? I kept tripping and going forward and like 3 or 4 times in a row I was tripping. I didn't say anything but I turned around and gave her a dirty look and I got screamed at. She was just yelling at me like I was her kid. And she was asking me, "what do you expect me to do? I can't help if I'm tripping you!" I told her, "Well, you can stop for a second and let me be a step or two ahead so that your head can be out of my f*****g ass that would be helpful!!!!!" Then she screams some more and exclaims that I was kicking her and it was my fault and so on and so forth. So much drama. Stupid lady kept screaming into the streets and people just stared at her like she was nuts. I gave her the same look. Then she came back to me screaming at me and I gave her my middle finger on both hands and stuck out my tongue like punk rock style. Then she leaves screaming and then comes back to me screaming some more. And I just smiled and waved and said in a real kind voice, "you have a nice day." She was screaming even louder and some more and just going off. You would think that she was the one that fell to the ground 3 or 4 times. Jeeeeesh!!! I had nerves and butterflies in my stomach for the entire day. And things at work was so hectic too with deadlines and so forth. I really had a bad migrane that day.
 After that things mellowed out. Ever notice that when it's cold, moods get real bad. But when it's warm, people get happy. I sure felt like that a few days later. I was really happy by the end of the week. The weather was warm, I was wearing brighter colors, lighter clothes and my mind stopped wandering into oblivion with horrible thoughts. I felt much better after hanging out with Maison Unitas and we were playing video games, watching movies, downloading stuff, etc. I hung out with him until the next day and I felt better. I felt even better over the weekend when the weather was nice and I decided to go skating and get some excercise. Turns out that the entire skating group was there that day too. I started to think about my dream from last week and felt a bit uneasy there. But then as the day went on and so many people came up to me with hugs and happy hellos, it faded a bit. Maybe I was exaggerating how I think people percieve me or something. But I felt better. I'm still gonna remember my dream because maybe it could be a warning of an upcoming situation this year. But it felt good to see friends and re-assure me that my friends are still my friends and maybe try to not doubt that so much.
The same goes for the situation with the b/f. He told me he thought about me a lot. I said I didn't believe him. So we got into a conversation as to what I have been thinking and finally said what had been on my mind. To make a long conversation short, the patch work is now better. There's more clarity and we now know better of what to say and how to act to eachother. So now I feel much better about our relationship. Again, maybe I need to stop doubting things and try to see the better of things. Yes it's true that everything comes in small patches that are yet to make one whole quilt. People, materials and life experiences are just pieces we add as we keep going along. Even my mind has patches of events that are sometimes imaginary but for the most part, experiences that kind of keep re-playing sometimes. Memories will always return because it's a patch we look at on our quilt of life. It's never really forgotten. Now, I just gotta take the new rough patches I have been going through and just sew them onto my quilt and keep going. Hopefully, the next set of patches will be smoother and maybe even prettier than some of the ugly moments of my life. That's it for now. Take care, be safe and most of all, Blessed be.
 FBS February 12 Mean V-day PoemHello Again folks,
Ok, I know everyone here is used to me writing some more mellow, somber and peaceful poems. But since the dreaded holiday is coming up, I thought I'd write a poem I always display for this holiday. Even though I have a valentine this year, I still hate this holiday. I really think this holiday is so stupid and a crappy way for the flower industry and chocalate industry to make money off the american people. If you care for someone or love someone, that should be an everyday thing, not a once a year thing. People just don't love once a year. That's a part of your everyday life. And for the singles who are out there moping over this holiday, just have fun with your life. Go on a date with no strings attached, go to bars or a club and meet someone or have a guys/girls night out. Then again it's also a weekday and I guess people will be busy with work. Thank goodness for income. At least. Take care folks and hope all is well on your end. Ciao!
FBS
Valentine's DayHearts and roses and kisses galore........ What the hell is all that shit for? People get mushy and start acting queer, It's definately the most annoying day of the year. This day needs to get the hell over and pass, Before I shove a dozen roses up cupid's ass. So I'll end the day so drunk I can't speak, And wear all black for the rest of the week. Guys act all sweet and soon it will fade, For all they are doing, is trying to get laid. The arrow cupid shot at me must have not hit, Because, I think love is a crock of shit. So here's my story.......what else can I say! Love bites my ass.........fuck Valentine's Day! February 10 Poems of my HeartHey Folks, I meant to post this poem up earlier. This is a poem I wrote for my dude and how we pretty much came to be. And after hitting a rough patch with him and his poem to me, I wrote a poem for him. So this is the poem I wrote for him about us and he pretty much loved it. For now, things are fine with us but we know there will be some patches ahead with work, new work, school...etc. So here is an insight of a portion of my life. This is for you baby! Enjoy the poem and feel free to leave comments. :-) FBS
Beyond Friendship Boundaries ---------------------------------- The journey began on a hot summer day. We had to be silent; we didn't have much to say. We knew little of where our paths would go. But we kept walking; we just went with the flow.
The sands of time have passed by with flight. The hot summer days turned into cold winters night. You are still besides me and our talks were endless. But the boundaries remained and we were just friends.
Before we knew it our energies and emotions began to rise. We went somewhere beyond that took us by pleasant surprise. Our feelings were kept secret and then it began to leak. And then the fork in the road made our future bleak.
Are our hearts strong? Can we prevail? Or will this road block make us frail? This whole new situation has given me fright. But if we believe in eachother, we should fight this with all of our might.
So now we are standing still in silence, face to face. A new road is now shown to us, which we should walk at a slow pace. But I will be extremely cautious before again my heart expands. So I will hold my breathe, walk with you slowly and cautiously take your hand. FB 1/23/06 January 08 Happy 2006!!!Hey Folks,
Happy New Year! Ok, so I am 8 days late with that. Anyways, not too much happening right now. Did some fire spinning and finally posted up some new pics which can be viewed at http://people.tribe.net/firebird I hope you like them. Anyways, so do you folks ahve new Years Resolutions? As for me, I don't make any really but thought I'd try it again. So here's a few resolutions, but not all. I'm afraid it won't come true if I say it all. Anyways, here goes:
Hope everyone else's New Year 2006 will be the best for you too. Make it a good one if possible. Take care. Ciao!
FBS  December 25 The jingles & the answersMerry Christmas !!!!!!
  Ok folks,
Sorry I made you wait a while for the answers for the psych test. I have been a bit pre-occupied with things I will tell you about after I cut straight to the chase and give you the answers. And for those whom have no idea what I am talking about, please read the blog before this one. So here goes:
The Yellow door represents friendship. If you opened it, it shows that you are open to people. If not, then that shows that you are not very open to new people in your life and you have a hard time trusting people. Now there's more analogy into this if you opened the door and described on what you saw. Everyone sees something different.
The Blue door represents family. If you opened this door it shows that you are connected to your family. But depending on what you saw when you opened the door, it can be a distant connection or close connection. I wouldn't know off hand. Not that much of a psyhic. But if you didn't open this door, it shows that you might have some issues connecting to your family or you chose to not connect to them at all.
The Green door represents death. If you opened this door, then there's a theory that you not that afraid of death and are prepared on what can happen to you. But what kind of a place you'll end up or how you percieve death when you open the door is dependant on your view. If you didn't open this door, you are either afraid of death or you just chose to not confront it or think about it or deal with it.
The Red door represents love, obviously. If you opened this door it shows that you are ready and willing to accept love. But as to what kind of love you want and what you are looking for depends on what you saw. if you didn't open this door, it shows that you are not ready for love and that you'd rather avoid it or just not deal with it. Or maybe you have a partner but you are closed off to them.
The Black door represents your future. If you didn't open this door it means that you don't want to face what the future hold for you and what oppurtunities can be in that door. Remember, the future can be just as scary as death sometimes. If you did open it, it means you are taking oppurtunities that are coming to you. But what is to be your future and what you see yourself doing or being is different in everyone's mind so again it depends on what you saw when you opened the door.
And as for what your favorite animal is and the characteristics. Whatever you named and described what you like about the animal is what you look for in your soul mate. So I hope it makes sense. *L* And that pretty much concludes this little color psychology test. If you have any questions please feel free to ask me in the comments. Hopefully this will give you much more insight to your life. Anyone interested in knowing what my answers are? I liked my answers and I might try to keep those answers for me in focus for upgrading my life in 2006. Maybe this can help you create resolutions good for your life in 2006 too.
As for the other little jingles in life not too much drama has been happening. Actually, scratch that there's always drama happening in my life. I last mentioned that I was going away to California for the Thanksgiving holiday. How was my trip? Awful! Probably the worst vacation ever. First of all the trip over there sucked. I was on time and everything, got my stuff in the over head compartments only so that this old geezer moves my stuff around and drops the glass lamps I got for my mom. And it was such a loud thud. I excalimed, "Those are my lamps!" The old man continued to move my stuff around, taking out my lamps and my laptop for his dinky suitcase and then he has the nerve to tell me "I'll watch your stuff for you". "Nah-ah!" I told him. "Hand it over. I'm not letting anyone watch over my stuff." Not this New Yorker. It was too early in the morning for this BS. Then after waiting an hour on the plane, it turns out that the engine was broken and that we had to switch planes for a 10:20am flight out. My original flight was at 8am. That was a huge delay. That was not good. But at least boarding the plane was not a problem. But when we landed in LAX, some other dude did the exact same thing the old geezer did but instead it was my laptop that went thud. I was really pissed. "That's my laptop!" I exclaimed. The guy looks at me and says, " are you sure? I seem to be mising mine." I said, "Give me that!" I opened the breifcase and sure enough it was MY laptop. And then the guy laughs and says to me, "Oh, it's been on my shoulder this whole time. Ha-ha. Is it a PC or MAC?" "MAC", I said. "It may not work after that fall", the idiot said to me. "You're an asshole!" The old geezer said to him. *sighs* Wrong coast folks. So on top of the messy commute to LAX, I ended up having to work the entire time I was there. Yes, do my work in Cali. I know. But I got it done. Thank goodness I got paid for this. I even had to add a charge for the usage of my cell phone. I was so peeved and stressed out over this. I was literally breaking out with zits. That's how stressed I was. I didn't even get to spend much time with my mom, or some friends or go anywhere. Plus, I had to help out my mom so most of my money that I got paid for before leaving was turned over to my mom. I was mad at myself for doing that. Thanksgiving day itself was nice because I was in Arizona where it was warm and I went hiking up the mountains and came back to a great feast my mom had cooked. After that, just a disaster. I was a bit mad at myself for offering to help out when management quit right before I left. I was just so angry at her, my boss for dragging this out the entire vacation time.
At least coming back to NYC was not bad at all. It was smooth sailing. One thing I was worried about was my fish when I was out in Cali. But I was relieved to see Knight Rider still alive when I came back home. But disturbed to find that someone else had been occupying my room while I was away. I was a bit upset over that but just smiled it off like it was nothing. After that it was just a matter of putting things away and getting ready to get back to my life again. A life that seemed to have magically diminished. I was all set to go to my internship and receptionist job. But it turns out that the lady whom wanted moi to work in Cali decided to close the office for the rest of the month. That was something I was not prepared for. So I now have no income coming in for the rest of the month. I got my check for working in Cali but I was still short $110 for the week before. So I was missing money and on top of that my mom owes me money and I have a heavy bill to pay by the end of the month. This just mesed up my holiday season. So what I did was just started looking for another job. I signed up with workforce to get extra help and I have sending my resumes left and right. But it's been slow because most folks are gone for this month. No one is hiring. So I've been working at that and keeping up with my internships which the two combined has been keeping me busy. And then as I was hand making my christmas cards for people, all of a sudden Knight Rider passed away the day before I was going to visit a friend from Boston. That whole day he was swimming funny and at 11pm I was on the phone and I still see him swimming and then an hour later he was still and black. He was gone. I felt so bad and felt like a bad owner. I only had him for 8 months. To get away from some old and new ordeals, I have decided to take a one day trip to Boston to meet Chad. He has been known to a lot of the poi folks as a talented spinner and a really nice person. I have been talking to him the entire time through e-mail and finally I decided to go up there on the last day of his class for the fall season. I also knew someone else in his class. So I finally met up with Brad and then I finally met Chad and some of the other people in the class. One guy that was there remembered me from PDF. And then later I found out he was the blue bandit fire spinner at the decom party. Small poi world. I had fun hanging with them and learning some new techniques. We all hung out and went to a party and then a show their friend was in. The next day I was back home. But I decided to not go to the Yule Ball. I had no money to pay for ticket. And then over the next few days, NYC was watching the news as the MTA had threatened to strike. That would leave us with no subways and no buses. And eventually they did. So there was many people walking out in 15 degrees farenheit weather. They were walking across the Brooklyn bridge and from other boroughs just to get to work.As for me, even though I live in manhtattan, I couldn't go to my internship. I had to either walk 170 + blocks with a heavy laptop or take a $30 cab ride. Neither of those options was going to work for me. It wasn't worth it. So I was stuck for three days in my neighborhood. I did go and see King Kong with my friend Expo. We ate at a cafe and he bought me a xmas tree branch as we walked about 80 blocks in 15 degree weather back home. We also hung out and watched movies the next day. That was all we can do with this strike going on which was enjoyable.
Of course when the strike is over the weather is 50 degrees and it felt warm. Go figure! So I got to meet up with a poi spinner and we talked and I learned some more new things from him which I need to practice on. He's a really cool guy. Yesterday, the weather was so nice that Page and I decided to go ice skating in Bryant Park. This is a new ice rink and I must say I really liked this one. We had fun even though both of us invited friends and neither of them skated with us or even showed up, we just had fun amongst eachother. After that I had to do the quick & brisk holiday shopping and then go over to my godmother's house. So that leaves us with today, Christmas. I am not big on holiday season but for some reason I seemed to be used to not getting anything on this day or around this time of year. It usually comes months afterwards and by then some people forget. I mailed out 19 cards and so far only 3 people got it. I am hoping everyone gets their cards since that was all I can do for people this year. Aside from that I didn't really get anything yet this year. My godmother will order some stuff from Victoria secret for me. That's what I wanted. So I have to wait for that. My friend Jon has yet to give me his gift. I will probably get that tomorrow. And my mom sent out a package. So I will probably get that on Wednsday. That's about it. My godmother's cousins, Matt & Fred stopped by along with Norma, Fred's mom. Fred brung over a gingerbread house kit which we both started but I ended up finishing the house which was about 75% of the work. It turned out very cute. We gave it to the kids next door because I can't eat that whole thing by myself. I'm trying to watch my figure here. Anyways, we had salad, bread and vegitarian lasagna along with carot cake that everyone was too full to eat. And then we just watched movies and exchanged gifts. I gave my godmother a silk scarf, a funny stress buster kit, some chocalates and a scrabble game in spanish. That's a rare find. And I bought her dogs some chew toys. After that spoke with friends and family and just watched movies. And that was my christmas. I hope everyone else had a great christmas too and let's party hard for the New Year. Take care. Ciao!
FBS December 12 Psychology TestHey Folks, This is a total participation blog in which I want to hear comments from people and I will reveal answers in a week or when I have enough people that have responded. It's a really fun and interesting test and might help you put certain things into perspective. Ever since I took this psycology test I still talk about my answers months later. And I really loved my answers. I felt that it helped clear things up for me. By the way, if you see different shades of green, blues or any color, use that in the description. Don't use my color text as an example. Ok, clear your mind and take time to think about this. Here's the test: You are walking down a hallway and there are a series of doors you come across. You first come across a yellow door. Describe the door, how it feels and looks and then ask yourself if you would open the door. If you opened the door, describe what you see. After that door, you then come across a blue door. Same thing, describe the door, how it feels and looks and then ask yourself if you would open the door. If you opened the door, describe what you see. After that door, you then come across a green door. Again, describe the door, how it feels and looks and then ask yourself if you would open the door. If you opened it, describe what you see. After that door, you then come across a red door. Again, describe the door, how it feels and looks and then ask yourself if you would open the door. If you opened it, describe what you see. After that door, you come across the last and final door which is the black door. Again, describe the door, how it looks and feels and for the last time ask yourself if you would open this door. If you did open the door, describe what you see. After going through the questioning of the doors, now name your favorite animal. Why is it your favorite animal? Describe it's characteristics, it's power, what it is you like about the animal. Keep these notes handy and then in about a week, depending on how many people respond, I will explain what each door and what your animal means. ok? Have fun and I hope this will help. Take care and stay warm from this weather. And it's only the beginning. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! Laters! FBS November 22 Gobble, Gobble, Gobble!!!Hi Again,
Now I am not one for celebrating Thanksgiving given my native indian background. But a holiday like this is a great excuse for leaving town or doing a dissappearing act. It's nice to be able to get away and I will be oing just that. I will be visiting my mom and my aunt out west after 3 years of not seeing them. So I will be up all night packing since my plane ticket was bought this morning. It was very sudden. Aside from my sudden flight out of my life for a minute, I saw Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire. It was pretty good although some things caught me off guard as a book reader of the Harry Potter series. I know some secrets that were not shown in the movie. But aside from that it was an adventurous flick. I saw that movie on Thursday at midnight so I didn't come home until 4am that morning. Friday I took a break and then on saturday I went to a party called Decompression. It was more part of the fire poi spinning thing but I didn't take part in it this time around. My depression really seemed to have kept me out of it. I was very much not in the mood and plus I was soooo cold considering this was half outdoor and half indoor event. So I didn't spin fire like I planned to. During the party, I managed to dissappear from the party for like 2 hours and have dinner with a friend of mine I met at Playa Del Fuego. I couldn't believe he traveled from Boston. We had Tai food and I talked to him about how I've been thinking and why I am sad lately. It was easy to talk to him. We also bought some beer and then headed back to the party and it became a crowded mess. Now it was a party and the music was so much better. I still didn't spin fire, but I just hung out with Rich, the guy from PDF whom traveled from Boston to be there. I helped Jung with his photography booth. And then I went to dance and met some other dude and I hung out with him for the rest of the night until about 5am. I think it's safe to use your imagination there. I could tell some of my other friends like Monkeyboy, Dee and Lucky were looking at me like, who is she with? But I was not asked any questions. The party ended around 4am and I got home by 6am. I was exhausted. What an adventerous few days it has been for me. Whew! Anyways, got to pack now. Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving. Ciao!
FBS November 13 Halloween AdventuresAnd now we continue from The Forest of Fears. The week of spooky. And of course feeling emotionally sad as always around this time of year. That weekend I went to the Forest of Fears, I have been waiting for my costume for the Witch’s ball to arrive. But it had not arrived at my godmother’s house. So the day of The Forest of Fears trip, I called my godmother and got the info for the package that was to be sent. It looks like they attempted to deliver so I called them and said I would like to pick it up instead. So the day after the trip, I went to get the package and they gave me such a hard time that I had to call my godmother. I was literally spitting out colorful words from my mouth. It was bad. Then a few minutes later the people at the office had said, oh, Ms. Latuf must have just called because we now see your name so you can receive the package. After an hour of all this BS, I finally got my package which was my costume for the witch’s ball. Later that day my godmother called me and I told her thanks for calling in. But she never did. She just got all my messages at 1pm and just called me now to see what had happened. So after an hour of BS, the company had the necessary info that whole time and just wanted to give me a hard time. This was not a way to make my life exciting. And it was only Monday. Tuesday comes and I want to get the dress tailored and ready for Sunday’s ball. So I call up my godmother because she knows of a tailor but she couldn’t meet me yesterday because of a meeting, couldn’t meet me Tuesday because she would not be home. Time was ticking and this had to get done. It’s as if no one understood when I mean “Urgent”. So on Wednsday I managed to drag the dress to work, leave early and go all the way to the east side to get the dress to a good tailor I know. I had already tried on the dress and everything of that costume on Monday and I love it. Just needs a few taking in touches and it’s ready. So the guy measured it and after all that, he told me how much it would cost to hem and take it in a bit. $80!!!! I couldn’t believe it. So much money for a hem. But I needed it done so I told him go ahead with it. That really depressed me the whole week. I had about 20 things on my list to do for that entire week. It was insane and a money sucking thing too. I was glad my other Halloween costume I bought worked out great. It’s now Thursday and I am sick. I have a cold and it hit me fast. Would I be well enough for the ball and the parade? No! But I spent all this money I was not backing out of my events. I was making sure it would get put to good use. I needed some soup as I was at my internship. I went to one place and they didn’t have anything I liked. So I turned around to go out I went smack into a guy with a black jacket. I looked up and I couldn’t believe who it was. It was Emre, the Turkish guy I dated earlier this year. I thought for sure he went back to Turkey. I thought he was gone. His friend Allan kept asking me if I had heard anything from him and we both figured he’s gone. But there he was right in front of me and I basically crashed into him. He came over and hugged and kissed me on the cheek and I just didn’t even move. I didn’t even hug or kiss him on the cheek back since that was a euro cultural greeting. I was frozen and quite scared. I had told Emre that Allan had been looking for him and that we both thought for sure he had went back. Emre said he got his paper work to start working in the U.S and that was good for him. And he talked about how he was still working, still busy and no time to hang out, basically all the same stuff I was used to hearing from him. He told me to e-mail him with Allan’s info and he took down my new cell #. Then we were off on our separate ways. I got back to the office looking for Allan on-line and he was not to be found. The sight of Emre had really spooked me and I just didn’t know what to think. My mind thought, what can this mean? Then my real mind kicked in and thought, don’t even think it! Get over it. It’s nothing. He doesn’t care. So I decided to e-mail him, telling him I don’t have his number but as soon as I find Allan and get his info, I will e-mail him back. After that, I just wanted this minute out of sight and out of mind. And so I went back to work. The next day work at the other office was crazy as usual. And even busier for me for I had to really get a lot of things done on my to do list and the cold was taking over my body. It sucked. Not to mention I had to work on Saturday too. Things just felt like a steep hill going down. I literally worked until nearly 9pm on Friday and had to be up early on Saturday. Lord, help me. My patience is only lasting for so long. Friday I slept hard so I can wake up on Saturday. Saturday was so busy for me for I had to look for a cape, a mask, get my costume and all that stuff and spend money on. 5-6 hours of shopping and I was finally ready to go home to movies and some sleep. I went home, tried on the newly hemmed dress and it worked out well. The mask, I went through hell to get the material for the mask and I started to decorate the mask with glitter. I got the black socks for my strobing lighted poi. So that was ready. Got funky stockings for my gown. I was spared the money due to Joe saying I can borrow his cape. I dug up the boxes for a fancy bag which I found so I didn’t need to buy a new one. There were still some things I had to buy but that was relatively quick and can be done tomorrow. So I decided to rest. So the next day came and I was so wrong about things being quick. As I walked to run my last errands on this hot October day, it took me hours to get things done and a lot of rude people to put up with. I was so mad. And then I couldn’t reach Joe for the cape. I had nothing to wear over my dress. I wanted to make it for the free food but time went by so fast it was not going to happen so I had to get some food for me. I was becoming very upset. Plus I was getting worse with this cold. Nonetheless, I started to get dress. First my hair, then the make up, then the dress, then trying to mend broken necklace which I didn’t bother fixing or replacing, I just wore necklace broken and then waiting for the mask to dry and re-packing things into fancy bag. I was finally ready to leave by 8pm. And so I headed to the witch’s ball, the only person on the street in a gown, feeling sick and now just really depressed. I finally made it and missed some of the performances. I managed to get a goody bag and see the rest of the performance. I saw Joe whom forgot about my cape and he knew I was upset about that. But he really loved my costume. I finally saw some of my other friends downstairs watching a musician. The place was decorated very well and the DJ was great. Some performances were cool. The costumes were very unique, some were very elaborate. The atrmosphere was great, people were cool but I felt very lonely and sad throughout the night. A few people commented on my costume and some dude was asking so many questions about me, I thought he was going to ask me out. But it turns out he was at the ball with his girlfriend, a belly dancer named Scherezade (is that even her real name) and was just asking me things to see if there were any coincidences. That pissed me off so much and made me feel worse. I felt so alone and thought for the yule ball, I need a date or a friend. Then the midnight ceremony occurred as we said prayers and blessings and remember those whom perished. Then after that was the costume competition. I didn’t feel like competing but it was nice to hear people tell me I should have. Then there was the raffle to win prizes. Yes, I bought a ticket. And remarkably I had won something on what seemed to have been a sad night. And it wasn’t just any prize. It was my friend, John’s painting that I had won. We were relieved and happy how that turned out. I was shocked. Then after that it was dancing and I used my strobing poi lights to dance to the music. Then the hours ticked away and John said he’ll drive me home. So I waited and after all that waiting it turns out people were not going home first. They were going to eat at a resturant and then go home. It’s a Sunday night and I have to work, if I would have known I would have left hours ago. I told John this and he felt bad. It’s not his fault but I just wish something was said sooner. So at 5am I had to take the subway home, in a gown and try to get some sleep for work under the influence of a cold. That pissed me off too. I was having a lot of bad moments.
So it was now Halloween and I am heading to my internship as dead as any of my ancestors out of their graves. I was that tired. And that sick. And on top of that, it was that time of the month too. Ugh! I really felt like shit. It was horrible. I even debated if I even wanted to skate in the parade at all. It was about 3pm and I was just starting to fall asleep. I asked if I could leave within the hour and the folks at my internship said it was ok. So within the hour I went to get a few more things from a drug store and then headed home to shower from my mess, change into my costume and get downtown. I wanted to make sure that my friends were going to be out there and when they were leaving. I tried a few people and finally got through to Karen in which case Michelle answered the phone. Michelle was asking me why I called her. I told her I didn't have her cell number, Page didn't answer hers, Tommy isn't with you so I called Karen. She was like, oh. So she told me when they were leaving and I wasn't going to make it on time to meet them. So I told Michelle I will just see her at the starting line. So that gave me more time to get down to my skating group. I finally got down there, as tired and awful as I felt but I really wanted to be there this year. But for some reason something was different. I can feel it. I felt very displaced. Sure I was hanging out with Page and we always have fun when we're together. But something seemed missing in the group this year. I couldn't place it but it was weird. It sucked that Halloween was on a Monday and everyone was beat from whatever parties over the weekend. And yet, the weather was warm and many people were out there. Finally some of the other skating people showed up. And now I noticed what was missing. Skates! Many people from our group were not on skates and decided to walk including Michelle and Karen. And a bunch of other people were a no show so the mood to be a part of this parade was not there this year like it normally is all the other years before this one. And after waiting quite a while, we managed to get hooked up with a float and start heading out to march/skate in the Halloween parade 2005. We were all hanging by this float from a radio station. It turns out so was half the parade too. We were being pushed by people on foot not realizing some of us here are on skates. It was a bit annoying but we finally managed to get started in this parade. As we started I saw someone whom looked familiar to me. It was Hani, an egyptian dude who is an editor at my internship. So I quickly tapped on his shoulder and then shouted out his name just to say HI and then I was off to catch up to my group. It was so crowded marching in the parade. It's suppossed to be crowded in spectators corner usually, not within parade. But it was very crowded to a point that I could not spin my poi lights while skating. Oh well. It was a warm day so it seems like all of NYC was out and about. For some reason I did not have fun in this years parade. I usually enjoy the time but this year, I was bored. There were people dressed up as the chickens that have the chicken flu, I saw an african-american ddue dressed as a pilgrim with a real turkey for a pet, and I think aside from the usual people that go naked to the parade or dress up as genitals, there was nothing that stood out to me at all this year. I think everyone had boring costumes including myself. I went as a sexy aviator type. I really wanted to fly someone to the moon. Michelle used Karen's costume from last year and Karen went as a mummy. Denise was there too but I didn't know what her costume was. Another girl dressed up as cat woman. Another girl went as a bee, Page went as a lady bug, and two skaters went as a devil/angel combination. That's all I can remember. And before I knew it, the procession in the parade was over very quickly. And then the group slit. A few people went one direction, I and a few others went another way to get out bags out of the car and then no one said where anyone was going afterwards. Honestly, I was just going to go home. I was sick and very exhausted by the end of all this. But I called Karen and found out everyone is at Union Square. I walked to Union Square along with the girl dressed up as a bee, Walter and another girl dressed as an officer. Walter and the other girl left so it was just me and the bee going to Union Square. So I when I finally got there, all the bbq food that was there for us skaters was all gone. Oh well. Within 20 minutes, I was ready to go home. Denise, Page and another girl decided to leave with me so we all said our good-byes and walked to the train station. By the time I was on the train, in less than 5 minutes I passed out and woke up just in time for my stop. I almost missed my train stop. *L* I got some tea and a bagel from my local doughnut place and then I went home, turned on my halloween lights and within about a half an hour, I was out cold, deader than the dead. That was the end of my Hallow's eve or known to some folks, Sawhain's night. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
It has now been about two weeks since the whole halloween event. I am much better now but I seriously went into a depression mode that has been lingering since around halloween time. I don't know what it is, but everything has been bothering me from people on the streets, to people I know, to work, to trying to keep up financially to being alone. A lot of things have been an issue. Although I still get those dark deep thoughts of death, but I have been talking about my feelings to people a lot more than I used to. Even this past wednsday, thursday and friday I did a lot of talking. Has it helped? Sometimes. Depends on the person. It feels good to get it off my chest but I am also wondering whom I can really trust. I've been talking but yet, having a hard time comprehending somethings and why it has to be a certain way. I understand I should accept it, but it can be changed too which is what I am trying to do. I feel like I am ignored and unheard. And I have been refferring what I feel/going through to some people as if I am in a battle, I am a native warrior, trying to plunge my way to the other side, trying to earn the rights to get there without being killed. Am I wounded? Very badly. I feel like I as a warrior is really trying to learn to either confront and deal with things and go around things that block me or discourage me, but what I notice is that it's the same thing, person or pattern that keeps re-occuring. Can I ignore it? No. Especially if there's a time limit on these matters that have to be addressed right away, I have to pay attention to it or else I lose an essence of myself. Have I paid attention before? Yes! I never ignored the situation. Other things are people trying to ressurect themselves into my life which I ignore. Sometimes they go away and sometimes they don't. And it's always like this. Always this pattern while other people have a life. Do I move on mentally? Yes! Do I get chances or even an offer? Nope. I'm at a point when I try to change and it doesn't work for me. Take up new hobby's, read a new book, get involved with more groups and meet new people and nothing good ever happens to me aside from the fact I have new friends. Things are missing and I keep fighting to get those rights. I'm fighting to be respected, to be seen, to be heard, for nearly everything and I am exhausted to a point that I just want to throw down my tomahawks and just have someone strike me. Somethings I really do want to give up on. But a few friends suggest that certain things I should keep going. I've agreed! But I feel too damaged. I feel a lot better than what I did last week. But my mind is still thinking on things. I ignore some thoughts and others I try to rationalize what can be done. But like all other species on this planet, we all ponder and wonder and we all just never know what's next. Anyways, that's all the time I have for now. Took me two days to finally get this post done. I'll let you know how things turn out later. I'll figure it out somehow. Take care. Ciao! FBS |
Hey Folks,
I went out of town camping at a hippy fest. I had some up and down moments. Examples of down moments: having to drag my stuff in the rain to my friend's house was getting on my nerves. Setting up a tent all by myself was quite frustrating. My fire performance going horrible was a real downer. I was crying over that. An upset stomach and The friggin mosquitos. Argh! Examples of up moments: being out of the city, the warm/ hot weather, my tan, meeting new people, creating a new punishment for one theme camp (that was wicked), the old friends, the music, the play, the high (or should I say low) wire experience, ice cream, getting my fire performance right for once, playing with fire til the ghosts went home and the mosquitos woke up, having two guys hit on me (until one of them kissed me and that went down - reminded me of foreign guy), free drinks, free food and just plain old fun to a point that I forgot I worked for a living. I will be posting some more fire pics in the Playa del Fuego album soon.
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